a summation.

Yesterday in art history we were learning about early Roman Republic art, and how they shifted from the "ideal" of Greek art and propaganda, to showing their leaders as more "real". Instead of idealized youthful faces they portrayed their leaders as they actually were, their sculpture shows wrinkles, scars, etc. This idea stuck with me: You are a summation of your experiences.

I found this in my journal, I wrote it last summer. I tend to be obsessed with this idea that everything bad that has ever happened to me has gotten me to where I am, that I have to give credit to those bad things as well as the good things. Don't read too much into it, and if you're going to judge please just stop reading now.

Still here? Okay, here you go, take a peek inside my soul:

I am a product of separation. A direct result of kind souls and people who weren't afraid to do what they had to do; or people who were afraid - but did it anyways. I am a product of races won, scholarships granted, and dreams achieved. I am also the result of failure thrust upon and reality recognized. I am the child of harsh words and actions, of tears, of "toughen up". I'm a mixture of compassion, of girls' camp, of strawberry jam and EFY. I am the epitome of reluctance, hesitation, and regret. Of words read and listened to. Of sentences written. Of smiles directed at no where in particular.